Peter Griffin vs Wario
Peter Griffin vs Wario is a What-If? Death Battle that has been adopted by ChessGrandMaster. Description Family Guy vs Mario! Which overweight protagonist of their own series who is known for farting, being stupid, using vehicles, being a villain and appearing in various crossovers will emerge victorious? Can Wario power up and win? Or will Peter will ground the scoundrel with a fart of gold? Intro Wiz: We’ve seen heroes and villains... Boomstick: ...as well as anti-heroes! Wiz: Though, we all have seen our share of fat characters as well. Today, it’s Wario, the anti-Mario... Boomstick: And Peter Griffin, villain protagonist of Family Guy! Also, I’m Boomstick and he’s Wiz! Wiz: And today, we’ll be analyzing these characters’ weapons, armor, and skills to see who will win... in a DEATH BATTLE! “Whalecoming” Peter Griffin! Boomstick: Hey! It's one of my favorite shows to watch for fun! Wiz: Peter Griffin is a Mexican man in his mid forties that is known for his obnoxious acts. Although he is potrayed as a dimwit and is shown to be cruel, he is not to be underestimated with his battle techniques. Boomstick: He has been shown to cheat death multiple times. Hey, I think he is even friends with death! Hey Wiz, don’t mind if I ask Death for me to be immortal here? Wiz: This is a TV series, a fantasy you know. Boomstick: A man can dream. Wiz: Peter was smuggled to the United States when he was a child, spending the rest of his childhood, meeting his irish biological father named Mickey McFinnigan. Peter beats Mickey in a drinking game, and this is when Mickey accepts him as his son. Boomstick: Later on, when he moved to Rhode Island, Peter became the wife of Lois Griffin, and eventually became the father of Meg, Brian, Chris, and Stewie. Talk about a family! Wiz: Peter is known to have very high durability, survive point-blank gunshots, falls from skyscrapers, being impaled, shrug off torture, and stand multiple variations of physical harm. Basically, his pain tolerance is ridiculously high. Boomstick: Also I’m pretty sure he has shapeshifted... into a T-Rex! And can pull stuff like entire vehicles out of nowhere. Wiz: Peter can also regenerate whole body parts, shown when his hand got cut off and can regenerate a new one. Boomstick: Gets killed so many times and yet he still comes back! I’m pretty sure he’s immortal or something. Not to mention he has his Grim Reaper form that also kills people on touch. Wiz: But he isn’t without weaknesses. Peter, while possessing superhuman qualities, can still be killed. Not to mention that his durability varies sometimes, which can vary from being easily knocked out to suffering brain damage for a short time. Boomstick: He has shown, numerous times, to not be the brightest bulb in the shed. He’s pretty much a walking idiot that often get himself into trouble. Wiz: He’s was easily defeated by his neighbor Rob Gronkowski, his daughter Meg, and Liam Neelson. Boomstick: But nevertheless, he’s a man that’s not to be taken lightly. Hey Wiz, he’s pretty damn strong here. Why not give a poll right now? Vote to see who would win! I’m rooting for Griffin here! Lois: It seems today, that all you see, is violence in movies and sex on TV. Peter: But where were those good ol' fashioned values, on which we used to rely! Wario powers up! Boomstick: Wario is a stinky, rude, and idiotic troll man. Wiz: How I feel when you talk about too many puns. Boomstick: What? Wiz: Nothing. Anyways, Wario was once Mario’s childhood friend. Boomstick: Mario always played this game called sheriffs and rustlers. Wario was always the rustler, and Mario always ended up beating him. The one time Wario was the sheriff was when Mario laughed at him. This made Wario furious. Wiz: As time went on, Wario received more and more losses for his lazy and rude attitude. His hatred steadily grew as Mario started to get more fame and victories. Boomstick: Wario, sick of Red Stache’s constant victories and fame, decided to take over Mario’s castle while the red plumber was away saving Daisy. Wiz: Hence Super Mario 2: 6 Golden Coins. After Mario placed the 6 coins that unlocked his castle, Wario engaged with Mario three times before being defeated. Wario suffers yet another defeat by Mario, humiliated. Boomstick: After that, he wanted to get a castle on his own. Traveling through his own adventures in Super Mario Land 3: Wario land, he goes around in Kitchen Island stealing various treasures to try to catch his dreams. Wiz: You can get from a planet, or maybe a castle in the end... Boomstick: To a freaking birdhouse!! I mean, this stupid genie wants so much stuff I wouldn’t go on a quest for this hog. Wiz: Anyways, from Wario Land and WarioWare games, Wario has a wide variety of movesets, powerups, and feats in his disposal. Boomstick: Like his transformations! Which is full of Pots. The Bull Pot ends up destroying enemies and blocks much easier, increasing his strength. The Dragon Pot ends up burning enemies, kind of like Fire Mario. Like the Bull Pot, it destroys things much easier. Man! Now what, a smoke pot for me? Wiz: No, Boomstick. Wario also has a Jet Pot that allows him to don a rabbit hat and take flight. His speed and flight is temporarily increased, even though he is heavy. Boomstick: Not to mention Wario’s reactions with everything! Whenever Wario gets hurt, he always has a “form” to everything! Well, at least most things I can think of. Wiz: Wario can transform into a variety of different “Power-ups” of his own. For example, whenever he gets set on fire, he transforms into Burning Wario. Wario can burn enemies while being set on fire, disintegrate, and come back like nothing happened. Boomstick: Another example is when Wario can be put on ice with Frozen Wario, obliterating any enemies if they are on his path. Once Wario hits a wall, he will be put back to normal. This plumber also has his movesets in the Smash Bros games, where he can summon a motercycle out of nowhere, chomp on opponents, and, well... Wiz: Create Wario wafts. Boomstick: Er.... right. Wiz: Wario, while also having numerous power-ups by his disposal, also has his Wario-Man transformation. He can transform into a purple costume which increases his speed and attack power for a temporary amount of time. Most of his Smash Bros movesets will be strengthened, with the possible exception of the Wario Bike. Boomstick: Don't you hate it when Wario-Man goes on his bike and self destructs? I haven't seen Flash do this. Wiz: However, Wario has his weaknesses. He can be easily tricked into bribes, in which most of them involve money in it. He is sometimes not very bright, despite his intellect on microgames and battle experience. Boomstick: He is also quite bad at sports, in which he results to cheating and still can't beat the Mario Bros. Especially you, Waluigi! You can get trained pretty hard by a giant lizard and still lose! Wiz: Despite Wario's faults, he is a unique character that is not to be underestimated in battle. Wario: I'm-a-Wario! I'm a gonna win! Intermission Wiz: Alright, the fighters are set. It’s time to settle this debate once and for all. Boomstick: Go Family Guy! Wiz: We’re supposed to analyze their results and compare their stats after this, you know. Boomstick: Oh, okay. You owe me five bucks if Team Griffin wins. Elsewhere, in a quiet neighborhood... Wario is idly playing games with a WarioWare device while walking. Wario end up losing in a microgame. Wario: What? Oh no! Peter Griffin is seen cooking some chicken with a frying pan. Not to mention Peter was whistling while walking. Peter: These wings oughta be delicious. Unfortunately, the two were not looking where they were going, and, inevitably, walked right into each other. Wario’s device was destroyed by the pot’s water while Peter’s pan was heavily damaged by the electricity. Not to mention the chicken spilled out. Wario: Wha?! What did you do? Peter Griffin: What the hell? That was my favorite chicken! Wario: You idiot! You should-a-watched where you are-a-going! Peter: No, you twit! You’ll pay for my beautiful stuff! The two men angrily toss their things to the curb, roll up their sleeves, and get ready to pound each other. It’s game time! Polls Who are you rooting for? The Anti-Mario Mr. Alcoholic Who do you think will win? Wario Peter Griffin Fight! Wario starts the fight by performing his shoulder charge. Peter dodges and grabs Wario, delivering several punches before sending him away. Wario quickly charges at Peter, this time attempting to use Chomp. Peter, however, grabs him, pulls a machine gun out of his pocket, shoots a bullet at the troll man before tossing him away towards a bush. Peter: That damn idiot shouldn’t have messed with me. He turns around, walking away... VROOM! Only to find out too late Wario has brought his Wario Bike out with him. Wario knocks Peter to the ground while taunting. Wario: Excellent! The fat plumber jumps off the bike to Ground Pound on alcoholic. Wario throws several punches to Peter’s face before the alcoholic dodges. Peter, out of nowhere, pulls a flamethrower out of his pocket and fires away. FWOOOOOSH! Peter: You’re fired! Wario runs around the block screaming, setting trees ablaze. Meanwhile, Peter is taking a swig out of his beer while laughing. Seconds later, Wario is turned to ash. Peter: Now to get back on the chicken... Seconds after Peter takes another swig, Wario turns back to his normal form and performs his Chomp on Peter before spitting him out. Peter: How could you have - oh, wait, I got just the thing... Wario is ready to attack Peter with another stunt of his Wario Bike, before Peter pulls out several machine guns. The anti-Mario, realizing what is happening, jumps off and pulls out a Bull Pot, ramming into Peter, which knocks away his machine guns. Wario: Yahoo! I got it! Let’s-a-go! Peter, his anger rising, grabs Wario and unleashes a flurry of punches before knocking him to the ground. Peter repeatedly punches Wario in the face, before stomping on his stomach. Wario: Waaaaah! The alcoholic, annoyed at the anti-Mario’s schemes, starts to feel queasy. Both decide to unleash their farts, destroying houses and other property nearby them. PPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTT! Both: OOooohhhh.... Both greedy men get up and begin throwing punches again, neither seemingly giving up. Suddenly, Wario pulls out the Dragon Pot and start shooting fireballs at Peter. The fireballs end up burning parts of Peter’s shirt and shoes. Peter: Hey, this shirt costed me three beers! And you don’t wanna see me get pissed like this. The alcoholic pulls a scythe out of his pocket and summons a dark cloak towards him. He begins to transform into a Grim Reaper-like state. It was... the Grim Peter! Wario, seeing Peter transform, forgoes his Dragon Pot and decides to transform into... Wario-Man! Grim Peter: Let’s see how you suffer through the powers of DEATH! He begins to try to swipe Wario-Man with the scythe, but misses every single time. The purple clad figure summons his Wario-Bike and begins to zoom off into the distance. Grim Peter: I can catch up to you, you know. Meanwhile, Wario-Man is riding on his Wario Bike, thinking he lost Peter. However, the anti-Mario begins to see the dark figure from around a hundred yards away. Wario jumps off the Bike, which results in the speeding bike speeding towards Peter. The Grim Peter dodges, and begins to try to kill Wario with his scythe. Wario, seeing the alcoholic about to take a swing, knocks the scythe off Peter and pulls out and lights several bomb-ombs, to which Wario-Man quickly runs away from the bombs he set down. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Smoke scatters, clouding both fighters’ vision. Wario-Man is rubbing his hands together, leaving Grim Peter confused. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT!!! As it turns out, Wario-Man had unleashed a nuclear fart that destroyed everything around them. The scent of gas was everywhere, plants withering. Peter was lying on the ground, feeling queasy. Peter: Wha-wha...what happened? He checked his surroundings in a sitting position, lacking energy to get up. Nothing but destroyed property, trees, was around him. When he looked up, though, he saw a purple figure divebombing towards him. CCRRRRRUUNNNNCHHH!!! Wario-Man had just landed. Peter groaned in horror. Wario-Man grabbed the alcoholic, spun around three times before throwing Peter towards a burnt tree. Peter: Ooooohhh... Need... more... beer...getting...woozy... He then closed his eyes. Wario, now reverting back to his regular form, took up a victory pose. Wario: Oh yeah! Wario is the winner! I’m a superstar! KO! Epilogue: Wario is seen riding his way home through the Wario-Bike. Death is trying to revive Peter Griffin. Results Boomstick: NOOOOOOOO! My favorite show! Wiz: While Peter had the higher durability and has toon force by his side, Wario takes the cake in everything else. Boomstick: Peter has been shown to pull vehicles out of nowhere, and has been shown to regenerate body parts like nothing happened. He can even survive numerous injuries and still fight. Wiz: Additionally, he has an undefeated winning streak against Ernie the Giant Chicken, which is impressive. Boomstick: However, Peter’s abilities have limits. He can still die, and was curbstomped by Meg and his neighbor Liam. He’s also below retarded based off intelligence. Wiz: Though Peter has his moments of genius, they are usually shadowed by his recurring moments of stupidity. Boomstick: Wario’s strength exceeds Peter’s. He can withstand numerous enemies and bosses without tiring out, as with the case of the Shake King, Rudy the Clown, and sometimes even the Mario Bros. and Bowser. He has also withstood the explosion of 100 bomb-ombs in a stadium leaving him only dazed. Wiz: Wario has loads of resources up his disposal, which range from bomb-ombs to the Power-up Pots we mentioned earlier. While he doesn’t have as much toon force as Peter, he can still pull objects from nowhere and use them with ease. Boomstick: I hate to say this, but Wario is definitely smarter. He can use WarioWare technology easily, which usually requires lots and lots of knowledge of computers... ugh. He also knows when and where to use his power-ups and transformations. Wiz: Peter, while having a longer battle record, usually faces opponents that are on par or are weaker with his level. Wario has been shown to take on threats that are capable of destroying worlds. These are things that the Wario has been shown to handle often, so he usually would have a plan. Threats like the Shake King and even the Mario brothers are feats that Peter cannot match with. Boomstick: Looks like Wario really GROUNDed Peter. Wiz, please don’t make me pay five bucks. Wiz: You were the one who came up with the bet. The winner is Wario. Wario: Winner +Speed +Intelligence +Versatility/Resources +Tougher Battle Experiences (Though shorter battle record) +Strength +Has more Forms and are stronger (Wario Man>Grim Peter) -Less durable -Less toon force Peter: Loser +More durable +More toon force to work with -Easier Battle Experiences (Though longer battle record) -Strength -Forms are weaker and doesn't have many -Speed -Intelligence -Resources/Versatility Trivia *All of Wario's dialouge in the Battle was clips used in actual games. *This is ChessGrandMaster's second Death Battle. His first one was King Dedede vs Rouge the Bat. Huge Thanks Huge thanks to hakuxtemari on Deviant Art for making this bio on Peter Griffin: https://www.deviantart.com/hakuxtemari/art/Peter-Griffin-makes-DEATH-BATTLE-laugh-and-cry-584508494 Also huge thanks for Bigthecat10 for helping me provide the website! Category:What-If? 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